One more to go

Hi all -
I know it has been a while since I've posted and I haven't connected with most of you lately. I've been keeping my head down trying to plow through the last few chemo sessions so we can call this phase done! I also caught a cold last week and that combined with the effects of the chemo really knocked me on my ass. I'm feeling better this week, still just a bit of congestion.

Well, do you believe it, we have one more chemo session to go and that is on March 25th -- next Thursday. Can not wait until this is over! The chemo is starting to build up in my system so I find climbing the stairs can wear me down these days. I've also had new side effects set in. It's always an adventure....you're just never really sure what your body's gonna do next!

I do have a few other things to update you all on:
1) I've become a believer in acupuncture!! The hospital were I am being treated has an integrative medicine department that offers acupuncture. My nurse referred me to the department even before I started chemo, but I hesitated as I did not think it would provide me with any relief. They finally convinced me to give acupuncture a try in that it could help relieve some of the side effects of chemo. I've gone for the last 2 chemo treatments and I am now a true believer in that it actually does provide me with relief. It has made my "bad" day not so bad, and seems to make my recovery time from the chemo shorter. I am very lucky that the University hospital has a grant that covers the cost of the acupuncture for chemo patients (up to $500), so there is no cost to me as most insurance companies will not cover it. I feel the need to spread the word about acupuncture now. Please, if you know of someone currently going through chemo, let them know about the success I have had with acupuncture. It's absolutely worth the try, I cant believe I waited so long.

2) Surgery is scheduled for Wed., April 21. As you recall, Phase 2 of my treatment plan is surgery. While we hope that the chemo has killed off all the cancer cells, the surgery will remove any cancer cells that may be lingering. It's a day surgery so I should not have to stay overnight in the hospital. yeah. After surgery, I should officially be cancer free (again). The remainder of my treatment plan is preventative to ensure the cancer does not come back (which includes receiving Herceptin for the remainder of the year through IV and radiation for 6 weeks - 5 days a week). While I am certainly not looking forward to surgery, I am glad we have a date when I can officially feel cancer-free.

3) We had some good news this week as well. As part of preparing for surgery, I had a mamogram and ultrasound on Monday. It shows the actual area where the cancer was identified has shrunk in half. This is good to hear, the chemo has done its job, just what we wanted to see.

Well, that's about all to report. Thank you for all your continued love, support and prayers...it's working!

Love,
Lynn

It's not about me

This time this post isn't about me, it's about two dear friends that inspire me. While both of these individuals have told me that I inspire them for being so strong, I want them to know that their actions to help others is what inspires me.

First, is my dear friend Kathleen Price (a.k.a Kat). Some of you have the pleasure of knowing Kat directly, others might "know of" Kat for the following reasons/stories:
1) She is the creator of my new fabulous pink external cranial prosthesis
2) She made me laugh when she explained to me that cancer was not a hobby
3) She has an incredible job as makeup supervisor of 6 (or is it 7 now) Cirque Du Soleil shows in Las Vegas
4) She taught me to draw on eyebrows during my first battle with cancer in the bathroom of a California Pizza Kitchen (good times)
5) She invented the "Malaria Shot," a shot served to all guests at my Survivor party after my battle with Hodgkin's disease. (In case you are wondering it was Goldschlager and Rumplemintz.)
6) She created my Hodgkin's Disease Survivor logo (yes, I had a logo).
7) So many more stories...I could go on and on...

Anyway, the reason why Kat inspires me is because she is voluntarily shaving her head in an effort to raise money for St. Baldrick's Foundation, a non-profit organization that funds childhood cancer research grants. She has joined with 20 other Cirque Du Soleil performers, employees and friends with the goal of raising $50,000 by shaving their heads!

As Kat explained to me last week on the phone, she's tired of feeling helpless (and tired of making soup) when so many of her friends and family have fought "The Cancer". Well, if you know Kat, when she jumps in, she jumps in with both feet. So she's not walking to raise money, she's shaving to raise money! I so look forward to seeing what kind of fabulous external cranial head gear she will be wearing once she is bald like me (Kat, does this mean I need to send you back the pink wig??)

I'd like to ask you all to consider making a donation in support of Kat, Cirque Du Soleil and the St. Baldrick's Foundation. But more importantly, I ask you to consider a gift to help find a cure. For more information or to make a donation, here is Kat's page:
http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/katzgonnashave
Also, here is the team home page for the Cirque du SoBald:
http://www.stbaldricks.org/teams/mypage/teamid/64839

My other dear friend that has provided me with much inspiration is Bonnie Gillespie. Bonnie has worked all over the world fighting malaria, providing disaster relief and caring for those less fortunate than us. She is now on the ground as a volunteer in Haiti on behalf of the American Red Cross. Doing disaster relief work stretches your boundaries emotionally, physically and spiritually. Me, I learned I needed running water to function (thank you dear Karen for that self realization in Florida after Hurricane Charley). Bonnie, I dont know if she has limits. She sacrifices comforts in order to help others. If you have donated to the Red Cross to help provide relief in Haiti, please visit the following site for information that Bonnie is posting on how your money is being put to use to serve others. And if you haven't, well, these videos might just inspire you!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8t7yCHn4iQ

Love to all.
Lynn

Beating cancer to death with a toothpick

I admit, I have days where I feel like we are beating this cancer to death with only a toothpick. It's a LONG, SLOW process and time seems to be moving at a snail's pace. Then, I do have days where I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. (At least the light at the end of chemo). Today, was an odd combination of feeling both.

I looked at my calendar this morning and for the next few months, it was empty except for chemo appointments. As you know, I'm a planner and I like to have a lot of activities planned but unfortunately we've had to clear the schedule. I found it quite depressing. So, I decided to look at my glass as half full and plan some activities since we are officially halfway through with the chemo treatments. But then moments later I realized that in my lifetime, so far, I've had 15 chemo treatments. Really, 15 chemo treatments in my lifetime...no wonder I feel like I'm beating cancer to death with a toothpick. Well, if I've had 15 treatments so far, and I only have 3 more, heck I'm WAY more than halfway done, right?

Then, today as I put my mind back to planning some adventures when this is all I over, I constantly came back to the one thought regarding how quickly life changes. Just a few months ago, I was like all of you getting ready for the holidays, shopping and decorating and then bam.....someone says "you've got cancer."

Since the last cancer go-around in 2001, Todd and I try to live life and not put off things that make us happy. You dont know what tomorrow will bring and it pains me to clear my calendar the next few months of things that we have been so looking forward to like a weekend at the Post Ranch Inn, or for me learning to ski, or attending Frozen Dead Guy Days ( check it out, you will want to go). So, I've decided to put this challenge out to you my dear friends....I challenge you to think of something you have been wanting to do but put off for no good reason (no good reason like I dont have the time) and get it done before my last chemo treatment (March 25th). Go out and do it my friends. Life changes to quickly.

Of course, you MUST share your stories with me as you take on this challenge because I need to live vicarously through you for a few months. Think about it my friends. Who's up for the challenge?? Tell me about the fabulous destination you have been putting off traveling to and book that damn trip. Or tell me about how you've always wanted to learn to speak Italian and you've just signed up for a course. What ever it is, "just do it." (Gosh, someone should snap up that "just do it" slogan, it sounds pretty good.)

(By the way, Bonnie Jean, you are excluded from this activity because I know what you have been wanting to do for a long time, and you finally did it. I am so proud of you and you will find your next great adventure soon.)

Lots of love.

Round 2 Done!

As most of you know, I spent new years eve in the “infusion room”. I think we were there until about 7 p.m., picked up some food on the way home and I was in bed by 8:30 p.m. Heck of a night.

It was a long weekend after that! (Just ask Todd, I was not a good patient.) Friday I felt kind of crappy, but then was hit bad on Saturday and Sunday. Felt awful. It’s hard to describe what it feels like. There is the nauseousness, and overall feeling of tiredness. The second or third day, the sore muscles set in. But then there is just a general feeling of well, I guess being run over by a truck. I dont know, I think its only one of those things that people who experience it can understand. (Kind of like the pain when your hair starts falling out. It’s an odd feeling, to actually have your hair hurt! I cant tell you how good it felt when the hairdresser asked me if I had a lot of hair pain before she shaved my head. Yes!!! It was sooo good to have someone understand that!!)

Back to why I was a bad patient....I was not drinking my liquids as I should have been (I was eating though). The problem is the absolute horrible taste in my mouth from the chemo. It’s like a metallic taste. It goes away as the days go on, but it lasts at least a week or two following treatment. Though I would not be surprised if it remains constant for the last few treatments. This metallic taste is why I stopped eating beef from the last chemo in 2001/2002. The bad taste was so strong with beef, that I stopped eating it completely during the 6 months of chemo and then just never really regained my taste for it again after that. Right now, food is not the problem, its liquid for some reason. I am struggling to find something that I can drink the first few days after treatment that doesnt make me gag when I take a sip. I did just discover a juicer thanks to my dear friend Chris and I must say that came in handy on Monday. Made a wonderful pineapple, apple and strawberry juice mix. Went down pretty good. The only problem was my dear sweet husband marked all the drink bottles in the house so he could see how much I drank while he was at work on Monday, and well he just couldnt tell how much I drank because I made my own juice. Fooled him, didnt I.

I know some of you are wondering what I look like these days. I’ve posted a pic of me in my new “external cranial prosthesis” (AKA wig). I think it matches pretty close to my hair. Let me know what you think! A shout out (does anyone say that anymore) goes to my girlfriends Jennifer and Chris for helping pick out my external cranial prosthesis and to my wonderful husband for going with me on “installation day”. As expected, my hair started falling out 16 days after treatment. It starts with just a few strands, then each day, it seems to at least double in regards to how much is falling out. It was tolerable for a few days (though I did wear a baseball cap on Christmas Eve to prevent clumps of my hair in my family’s food). By Monday after Christmas, I was ready for it to go because it was just becoming unbearable. The hospital recommended a great wig shop, which is also a salon (the owner is a breast cancer survivor herself) so its a comfortable place. Though the woman in the salon chair next to me, was a bit shocked when the clippers came out and the salon owner shaved my head. (oops, she chose the wrong chair didnt she.)

Now, its been almost a week since treatment and I’m feeling good. Every day has been better, though today feels like a bit of a set back. I’m thinking it means I am at the low point with my white blood cells so, this is when we need to be careful I dont get sick. I’ll be confined to the house this weekend so I am not exposed to germs while my counts are low but I am looking forward to having a whole week and a half of hopefully feeling good before next treatment.

Lots of love.

Hair loss

I wonder why it is that some people’s first reaction when I mention that I will be receiving chemo is “will you lose your hair?” It’s not that this question bothers me (o.k., well maybe it bothers me a little bit), but I just wonder why it is the first question. Perhaps its just that a bald head is really what identifies a cancer patient or perhaps its because those individuals can’t imagine the thought of losing their own hair. Whatever it is, I’m sure there has to be a better response unless your planning on buying me a hat.

The hair loss doesnt bother me to much. Dont get me wrong, it sucks, no doubt about it. But I would gladly trade my hair for 6 months in order to get rid of this terrible disease. In the scheme of things, its a small sacrifice to make.

There are also, I think, a lot worse side affects to chemo than hair loss which could include heart damage, increased risk of obtaining other cancers, memory loss (also known as chemo brain...I guess that’s like pregnancy brain), permanent tingling in your fingertips, and much more. Yes, unfortunately with these kinds of drugs comes serious side affects but what alternative do you have? I say none.

So, then what do I do to deal with the hair loss....I prepare by shopping with some fabulous girlfriends for wigs, bandanas and hats. Which by the way, we did last weekend. But more importantly, when I need a laugh, I have my husband (or my friends husbands -- you will look fabulous as a blonde Chuck!) wear my wig around the house.

And, when the next person says to you they need to have chemotherapy, try to hold back the desire to ask if he/she will loose their hair unless you are going to follow it up by asking: “Do you prefer knit or fleece?”

1 down 5 to go

Well, first treatment down, five left to go. Unfortunately, actually getting the chemo treatment is the easy part, it's the side effects that hit after treatment that makes life difficult. Don't get me wrong, there are certainly cancer patients in the "Infusion room" that are having a hard time with the treatment. You do need to learn to tune those sounds out when you are there or it can make your time a bit uncomfortable. But in general, everyone is just kicked back in their barcalounger with a tube attached to them and a nurse coming in every once in a while to change the IV bag. There are a couple chairs with each barcalounger for guests and a curtain to provide some sense of privacy if you want. For those having a difficult time, there are individual rooms.

My "cocktails" consist of 3 different drugs, along with some anti-nausea medicine first. In total, we were there for about 4 1/2 hours. They give you the drugs slow the first time to be sure that you don't have an allergic reaction which could be anywhere from mild to very serious. Luckily, I did not have any reaction. The next chemo treatment, they can speed up the time in which one of the drugs is administered but I will have to see my doctor first and get blood work done before treatment, so I don't expect to be there any less than 4-5 hours each time.

My port worked wonderfully. I have a "Power Port", though I am still trying to figure out what kind of super powers it gives me. If you are wondering what a port is, check this out..
http://www.bardaccess.com/port-powerport.php
This is truly a chemo patients best friend! It prevents your veins from collapsing with all the times they get hit up for blood, injections, etc. The port is installed under your skin, though you can see the bump in my chest where it is and a tube is run directly into your vein. When its time for chemo or blood withdrawal, they stick the needle in the port, and voila!

Tuesday I felt pretty good, Wednesday was my bad day as expected. Mostly just a nauseous feeling that you feel everywhere in your body. A bit hard to explain. Today, still a bit nauseous but the muscle aches have also set in just giving me an overall achy feeling.

We did learn today that you CAN actually over do it on the anti-nausea medicine. Ooops. Had to cut back on that, it was making me a bit jittery and irritable.

I hope to turn the corner tomorrow, and be on the road to feeling a bit better. The good news is since treatment is once every three weeks, I will have a few weeks of feeling pretty good before I go back again on 12/31.

Chemotherapy is cumulative as well, so as you go through treatments you do progressively feel worse. The drugs build up in your system and you feel more tired, and more side effects start to take hold. But, good news is the docs say "we have a drug for that" so you can curb most of the side effects.

I've added a picture of me in chemo. It really is just this exciting though I did love playing with my new itouch for 4 hours! Next chemo....knitting lesson with Jennifer. Looking forward to crafting our $70 hats!

Love to all.

The battle begins 12/7

Hello all -
It has been quite the whirlwind the last few weeks with doctors appointments and tests. I been behind in getting back to most of you on an individual basis, so forgive me for that.

The good news is the additional tests showed no additional cancer besides for what we already know about, so that is good news. In addition, we now have a plan of attack, and the battle begins on December 7th with Chemotherapy. We have received two separate opinions and both have laid out the same course of action. We feel good about this plan of attack...we are gonna attack this cancer with all guns blazing.

There will be 6 cycles (treatments) of Chemo. Once every three weeks. The first treatment is scheduled for Dec. 7th, the second will be on 12/31 and then for 4 more times after that.

Next step is surgery. The goal is that the chemo will shrink the cancer making surgery easier, hence why we are starting with chemo.

Then 6 weeks of radiation treatment -- 5 days a week.

There will be additional injections for 6 more months (once every three weeks) then a pill for like 5 years.

It's a lengthy plan, but the doctors have no doubt that we will conquer this.

There are a few additional steps that need to happen this week, I will fill you all in on the details a bit later. I wanted to at least post the treatment plan to keep everyone in the loop. More to come later.

Thank you again for your continued support and prayers.